The past few weeks.

Let me start by saying I'm a disability support worker, and I'm slowly coming to grips with the fact that I have a disability myself.

Two weeks ago I had a ticcing fit. Like I said in my last post I've had these before and they usually last around five minutes, this one lasted an hour and a half. I was already in hospital because I'd cut my hand earlier in the day and it wouldn't stop bleeding, but must have gotten a sensory overload while sitting in Triage because I started feeling really odd really quickly. I texted my mum and my fiancé asking them to meet me there and by the time mum got there I couldn't hold myself up anymore, it was like all the energy had just leaked out of me. Mum asked for a bed for me before I feel over and not long after laying down in the bed it started. My eyes were rolled back in my head the whole time, I couldn't speak because of how tight the muscles in my face were, all my tics were coming at once and I couldn't stop or suppress any of them. There were new tics too, my body was doing things it had never done before, like my feet dragged themselves up behind me and my back arched to the point that my head nearly touched my feet (and I'm not a flexible person). I thought it went for about 10 minutes but turns out it was a lot longer. I had to move from one bed to another and that look 5 people to help and even then I fell onto the bed cause it was just too hard.

So yeah, that was crazy.

I haven't worked or driven since, I suppose I'm a little scared to really. My body has a constant buzz to it, like someone plugged me into a power point. Physically I'm fine, but I just don't feel right, I constantly feel like something's about to happen. How can I be a support worker when lately I need someone to support me myself?? I've had two short ticcing fits since then, and I can feel my brain charging away. I'm on Valium at the moment, as well as my normal meds, to try and get rid of that buzzing feeling but it's not doing much. I just feel like a ticking time bomb (pun not intended but brilliant if I say so myself).

So far there has been 15 page views for my first post, and I wanna ask, do any of you have experience with TS? Do you have it yourself? Or are you just intrigued? And if you've come back to check for more posts, then what kind of things do you want to read? Or would you like to see videos? I could maybe film some of my tics so you know what I'm talking about? Let me know, I'd love to hear from you.

Much love, Julie x